POOH GOT SHOT
by SasuNarufan4ever
Summary: A crack fic about Pooh getting shot, and bees stealing his honey... Warning if u love pooh, u might not want to read this. Just sayin... But of course you can still read it! Rated T for some language... And awkward stuff.
1. Chapter 1

POOH GOT SHOT:

This is a crack fic that I thought of... While thinking about the bee movie...

Disclaimer: I do not own pooh, if I did it would probably involve pooh getting hurt...

WARNING: NOT for pooh lovers

One day

Pooh got shot

And fell to the ground

With a grunt

He passed out

And his honey

Was stolen

By bees

Who wanted their honey back

And they got it

And poor pooh woke up the next day

Without any honey

He was very sad

He cried all day

Then got punched by tigger

Tigger told him he was acting like a girl

Pooh fainted in shock

Tigger shrugged bouncing away

With Pooh's last honey jar

That the bees forgot to take

Soon Pooh woke up

To pee

And then he stormed out of his house

To get his honey back

Once he got to the bee hive

He grabbed a huge stick

He cried

And whacked the hive

Yelling "FOR NARNIA!"

The bees grew furious

They all flew out of the hive

And pointed the stingers at Pooh

And ate Pooh

Yelling "die mutha fucka!"

And a few other things that shouldn't be heard

I wrote this through fb messaging so thats why its like this. So yeah... If I get enough reviews I might make more... My friend aishachase97 came up with a few things in the fic. Please review for Pooh! Or Tigger!


	2. Chapter 2

**POOH GETS STABBED**

POOH GETS STABBED BY A TURTLE NAMED ZORO

WHO ALWAYS LEAVES A TRAIL OF PEE BEHIND

HE LOVES TO WATCH MOVIES AND EAT POPCORN

WITH HONEY AMD CHOCOLATE

AND HE CUTS THE CHOCOLATE WITH HIS THREE SWORDS

AMD THE CHOCOLATE ISN'T REALLY CHOCOLATE

BUT HE HAS NO IDEA SO EATS IT ANYWAYS

AND GETS SICK

POOH TRIES TO STEAL HIS CHOCOLATE

WHICH HE DOENST KNOW IT ISN'T CHOCOLATE

AND EATS IT ANYWAYS

... ZORO GETS FURIOUS

AMD SLOWLY PULLS OUT THREE SWORDS

SLOWLY CAUSE HE'S A TURTLE REMEMBER

AND ZORO STABS POOH

POOH GRUNTS AND FALLS TO THE GROUND

HIS INNER FLUFF LEAKING OUT

AND THEN ZORO ATE HIM THINKING HE WAS A BLOB OF HONEY

THE END

that's it for this adventure! Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**POOH GETS SHOT BY AN ARROW**

One day... Pooh was walking to his house. He met a weird Chinese dude. The Chinese dude smiled and took off his pants and underwear turning around. He bent over.

"See zee moon!" he yelled and pulled up his pants again running away. Pooh gasped. The Chinese dudes but was all wrinkly, and the Chinese dude was only 20.

"Good beavers." Pooh said. All the sudden... Poof! A a Chinese sidekick named Poof appeared. Pooh froze when he saw a rusty knife.

"Imma kill you mutha-!" Poof was interrupted by the other Chinese dude.

"Your knife is rusty idiot!" the Chinese dude yelled. Poof growled at the Chinese dude and threw the knife at him.

"Whoa." Pooh watched the knife. It stabbed the Chinese dude. The Chinese dude jumped on Poof and they got into a cat fight. Pooh couldn't help but cheer on Poof.

Poof stole the Chinese dudes bow and arrow. He pointed it at Pooh and shot him. Pooh fell, his fluff falling out of his mouth.

"My honey!" Pooh screamed. Poof stole Pooh's honey while the Chinese dude ate Pooh.

THE END... Of that adventure anyways


	4. Chapter 4

Pooh gets Smooshed

Pooh got Smooshed. It had been just a normal day. Pooh had been taking a peaceful walk. He forgot to look both ways. A car was speeding past the speed limit of 10 miles per hour. Te car ran over his penis, since he had been trying to get a penny. The second car ran over his penis again. The third one ripped it off. Pooh was now a girl. He screamed in pain. He fell over on his back and then got ran over by a car.

THE END...

for now... MUHAHAHAHA... Ok yeah see ya next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Pooh gets Murdered

A sniper was lurking around. He had a rocket propelled grenade launcher. He spotted Pooh who was singing his own theme song. The sniper readied his ropy. He yelled. "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" And he blew Pooh's head off. His brains splattered everywhere and scientists were immediately called upon to investigate the situation and analyze Pooh's brains. So upon closer inspection the brain turned out not to be Pooh's brains. It was actually shit. Zoro came and ate it thinking it was chocolate.

THE END

For NOW...


	6. Chapter 6

Pooh Gets Attacked by Pigeons

Pooh was walking down the road and saw pigeons. They had beady red eyes and were staring at him. Pooh shivered in fear and turned around. He looked back and suddenly they were closer. He felt scared and stepped forward and then looked back again. The pigeons were even closer. He squeezed his eyes shut and started running. He skidded to a half when he saw a pigeon. The pigeon was just standing there. Staring at him. It made a weird noise and suddenly Pooh was attacked by pigeons. Some were in the air shitting up a storm on him. The others were pecking at him and he ended up losing all of his fluff. He died by the beaks and asses of pigeons.

**THE END**

**Of this Pooh adventure anyways. I've recently had a pigeon obsession and yeah... THE PIGEONS WILL HAVE WORLD DOMINATION! Anyways I hope you people liked this chapter. Sayonara for now.**


	7. Chapter 7

Pooh Gets Eaten By a Zombie

Pooh was having a normal day just walking down the yellow brick road. When suddenly he saw this weird looking human thing. But Pooh didn't think it was human. He was right. He freaked out and screamed in a girly way when it started running after him. He laughed at the zombie when it's leg broke and it tripped. Pooh pointed at the zombie and laughed his stupid round yellow ass off. The zombie groaned and used its arms to crawl over to Pooh. Pooh was too busy laughing that he didn't notice and the zombie started chewing on Pooh's leg. Pooh started groaning like a girl.

"Stop! LET ME GO!" Pooh screamed. The zombie started humping Poohs leg while eating Pooh's arm. Pooh felt violated and punched the zombie. The zombie punched Pooh back and the two got into a huge fight. The zombie won and ate Poohs stomach and them it are his legs and arms. It humped his head before eating that to.

THE END

**Of this chapter anyways. Hope you liked it! Sayonara for now.**


	8. Chapter 8

Pooh Gets Blown Up

Pooh was sitting in his chair. He put a band aid on his booboo. He had scratched himself while organizing his honey. He didn't even notice the time bomb that was under his chair. The time bomb was at 10 seconds. Pooh started stuffing his face with honey. The time bomb was now at 3 seconds. Pooh farted and the time bomb went off early. Pooh went flying out of his chair and went though the ceiling and off to the moon. He landed on the moon and looked around. He thought he was safe when suddenly he blew up. All his inner fluff went flying into the solar system and fluff was falling onto earth. Instead of snow, we had fluff.

THE END

**Of this one anyways! Hope you all liked it! :) Sayonara for now!**


	9. Chapter 9

Pooh Almost Gets Married

Pooh was getting married. He was marrying Piglet. Piglet was the bride. Piglet was so excited. He was finally going to do it. He was going to kill Pooh in front of everyone. He pulled out his bazooka. He kissed it.

"You're my only love. You complete me." He said. Then he started making out with the bazooka. Pooh knocked on Piglets door.

"Piglet! You ready?" Pooh asked. Piglet took a deep breath.

"Yup!" He walked over to the door. Pooh had left and Rabbit was standing there. Rabbit led him down the aisle. Pooh was wearing a red suit and he had his paws behind his back. He was grinning like a retard. Piglet smirked. It was time. He whipped out his bazooka and pointed it at Pooh. Pooh gasped and Piglet pulled the trigger. Pooh screamed.

"SHIT!" Piglet laughed like a maniac as Pooh's head went flying over the seats. Piglet caught it and put it on a stick.

"HE'S DEAD!" He shouted and everybody started dancing.

"WOOT! ALL HAIL PIGLET!" Then Piglet pulled out his kunais and threw them at all the dancing freaks.

"DIE MUTHAFUCKAS!" They all dropped to the ground dead.

THE END

**HOPE YOU LIKED IT! :D I was really mad at my ex bf so that's why Pooh wasn't the only one to die. Hehe sayonara for now!**


	10. Chapter 10

Pooh Gets Hit by a Train

One day Pooh was walking across a train track. Suddenly a train appeared and he screamed when his leg got caught on the tracks. He struggled and struggled, but it was no use. The train was getting closer and closer. Pooh'z eyes widened in fear and suddenly a yellow brown blob fell out of his ass. He had shit himself. People nearby fainted from the smell. The train was even closer and Pooh started to piss himself. Then WHAM! he was hit by the train. Blood formed under the train as it kept going. People woke up and praised The Lord for killing Pooh.

THE END

**Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for taking forever to update. Been kinda busy and enjoying the freedo to be lazy. Please review!**


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